Uuuummmmm my brother, mother and I just manifested a $1500 outdoor sofa set.. We fuckin won the auction 25 minutes after finding it in the literal LAST SECOND for $380 omg this is perf
i just don’t know where to start and i don’t want to spiral downwards into this mental limbo again I’m just scared
hands!!!!!!!!
brain in feet, brain elsewhere, want to have an adventure tonight
wow i have wasted so much time on this website tonight i am not very pleased with myself but thats ok because ill go have some tea and a cigarette and go to bed (probably think for a few hours in bed and clarify things with myself because shit is a bit fucked on some deep level and i cant even speak I’m sorry goodnight y’all xxxx)
Block
i don’t wanna be told what to do fuck off shutup shutup shutup don’t speak to me i can fucking do things at my own pace i don’t want help i need to find a way to fucking deal with effort and resistance and its so much harder then it should be because this has been the patten for my whole life and it has only occurred to me that it appears to be a recurring theme in my life currently to give up when things get too hard.. to take the easy way out, to not try. Ive only been told by my mum and acknowledged it now but i quit ballet when i was 5 and strangely enough.. there it is, i quit because i tried something hard and i failed and i got yelled at and since then whenever something gets too hard, i give up, i don’t try, i just don’t do things, I’m lazy as fuck and wow thats gonna be hard to fix because its been that way for my whole life and I’m resistant but I’m so glad i got that little slap in the face of a reminder because i remember that event so vividly, every detail, and it was 11 years ago so i have an understanding of this actually life impacting ridiculous block that stemmed from something so little but now i know where to begin
Guys look tho
half assed, delirious attempt at summarising the current state of my life
People are so great though I love everything and everyone
im having a good old dance daft punk and mos def r helping me and im bopping around but feels and things that r hard to process and being so sensitive i cant and like shouldnt change myself but everyday i am learning more and more and becoming more conscious so i can observe myself and be conscious of my actions but some shit is so fucked but im always on my way to underatdnanding and sorting shit out and this is really good this is just what i need
I like keeping my secrets to myself and chuckling about them uncontrollably but sometimes I want to jump up into the sky and ascend into the atmosphere and into space and scream my feelings through a microphone over the entire earth and punch someone in the face and sexual frustration
Um in my dream last night I found an abandoned printing factory in a swamp, my brother got into the theatre business, and Georgina (fabulouslytragic if u didnt know by now) was modeling swimwear???? Ong what
Nothing or something.
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